


Mukuro to Tori to Boku

by damedanbo



Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: Birds, Canon-Typical Violence, Confessions, Crack Treated Seriously, Deception, Gen, Illusions, M/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-09
Updated: 2017-09-09
Packaged: 2018-12-25 11:35:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12035046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/damedanbo/pseuds/damedanbo
Summary: Birdhead:A popular word of the 1990s that refers to someone who is dumb or easily manipulated.On May first, Hibari makes a new friend.





	Mukuro to Tori to Boku

**Author's Note:**

> [Based (loosely) on this fanart by 那瀬](https://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=18825804)  
>  I wanted to write something goofy about this fanart, so I did.

On May first, a stranger appeared in Namimori.

It had been a totally normal day. The sky was mostly clear, though a few thin clouds drifted along in the breeze. It was warm out, and the sun shone brightly in the corner of the sky. The Vongola family, sans its Mist, Cloud and Lightning guardians, had gathered on the roof of Namimori Middle School to eat lunch and enjoy the warm weather. Reborn stood near the fence, looking out over the grounds.

Everything was completely ordinary, until Mukuro appeared.

Rather, a person with a big, round, fluffy bird for a head appeared on the roof in a puff of mist, wearing Mukuro’s clothes and bearing his trident. Even its eyes were the same as his, and a little tuft of feathers on top of its head mimicked his hairstyle. It was very, very clearly Mukuro. You didn’t need Tsuna’s Vongola Hyper Intuition to see that.

“Yo, Mukuro,” Yamamoto greeted him, “did you come to eat lunch with us?”

“Somehow I doubt that,” Gokudera grumbled. Usually when Mukuro showed up, it was to cause trouble.

“I don’t see Mukuro anywhere,” Ryohei said, sounding a little concerned. “Just this bird guy.”

“...Anyway,” Gokudera said. He didn’t say anything else.

“Mukuro, what are you doing here?” Tsuna asked, feeling more than a little nervous. Mukuro showing up unexpected and uninvited was weird enough. The emotionless, unblinking bird head…

It was just unsettling.

Mukuro’s bird head didn’t answer, but it did flap its little wings, located on its sides where his ears should have been.

“I see,” Reborn said gravely. He stood with his back to the group, face dark. “If that’s the case, we won’t stop you.”

“Stop him from doing what?” Tsuna asked, just as the door to the roof slammed open. Hibari Kyouya stood in the doorway, tonfa already out. The other guardians froze. Hibari was volatile enough on his own. Adding Mukuro to the equation was a recipe for disaster. Tsuna’s friends stood up slowly, drawing their weapons. Tsuna stood last, ready to break up their impending battle. Mukuro stayed where he was, not even raising his trident.

“Why are you herbivores crowding up here?” Hibari asked, ignoring Mukuro and directing his question at Tsuna. The brunette gulped, but stood his ground.

“We were eating lunch, Hibari-san-”

“I didn’t ask.”

“You literally  _ just  _ asked,” Tsuna sighed. There was no point in arguing with his Cloud guardian. The man was above logic.

“Get lost,” Hibari ordered. “I’m going to sleep here.” His gaze shifted to Mukuro, and he frowned. “And who is this?”

A few seconds passed in total silence. The other guardians looked at each other in disbelief- there was really no way to confuse Mukuro for anyone else, even with the bird head- and yet, it was Hibari.

“It’s… It’s Mukuro,” Gokudera said, gesturing at the illusionist.

“Don’t be stupid. That person doesn’t have a bird for a head.”

Gokudera gaped at him. “It’s literally fucking Mukuro! Use your eyes!”

Hibari stepped forward, eyeing the bird-head. “Are you a student here?” he asked, tapping his chin as he examined the newcomer.

“God, he’s clueless,” Gokudera sighed, following Tsuna as the boss headed through the door and down the stairs. 

“Maa, be nice, Gokudera! Hibari-san is Hibari-san!”

“I don’t get it either!” Ryohei shouted at Hibari as he slammed the door shut behind them.

Now it was just Hibari and Bird-head on the roof, staring each other down. Hibari’s eyes narrowed. Bird-head’s beady black eyes didn’t move a muscle.

“I like the looks of you,” Hibari said after a while. “I’m going to nap now. You can stay.”

Bird-head blinked and flapped his wings again. The corners of Hibari’s mouth twitched, almost smiling. He laughed once, and looked away.

 

If Mukuro had done the bird-head gag once and moved on, it could have been classified as a joke. No one would have been bothered. They could have forgotten about it, maybe even laughed at it a few years later.

Instead, he showed up the next day in a Namimori-chuu uniform.

“Alright,” Tsuna sighed, accosting him at the gate. “I’m going to have to ask. What are you doing here?”

Bird-head opened his little beak, then closed it without making a sound. His wings flapped cheerfully.

“This feels like some kind of bad trick,” Gokudera whispered to his boss. Tsuna nodded.

“I thought you went to Kokuyo Middle?” Yamamoto asked, cocking his head to the side. Bird-head shook his head.

“Look, Mukuro,” Tsuna said, “I don’t understand this gag. I don’t know what you’re doing. But it’s time to knock it off. Whatever you’re doing, just- cut it out.”

Bird-head was silent.

“Why are you bothering him?” Hibari called from behind them. The three of them turned to face him.

“Hibari-san, it’s just Mukuro with an illusion on his head,” Tsuna tried to explain. Hibari scowled.

“He’s a new student. There’s no need to be rude.”

Bird-head chirped, the first noise any of them had heard him make. Hibari held back a smile.

“Anyway, you should all get to class,” Hibari said. “The bell is about to ring.”

“How can you be so dense?” Gokudera asked, stepping forward. He pointed accusingly at Bird-head. “How can you not see who that is? Look at the eyes, idiot!”

“He has heterochromia.” Hibari sounded positively bored saying it. “It’s not that rare.”

“It  _ is  _ rare!” Gokudera cried. “It’s super rare! Normal people don’t have that!”

“Have you noticed that he has a bird for a head?” Yamamoto asked, trying to be helpful.

“One of his many great qualities,” Hibari replied.

“He’s carrying Mukuro’s trident,” Tsuna sighed, rubbing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose. Hibari took pause, examining the weapon.

“He stole it from that person,” he surmised quietly. “It’s a trophy.”

“It’s Mukuro!” Gokudera shouted, having an absolute fit in front of the school gate. “It’s Mukuro, you fucking moron!”

“I’ll show you to your class,” Hibari said, taking Bird-head’s arm and leading him away from the Vongola guardians. Bird-head gave a little wave over his shoulder. His expression could almost be described as a smirk.

“What the hell is he planning,” Tsuna murmured to himself, staring after the two of them. “Getting so close to Hibari-san… He must have some trick up his sleeve.”

“Whatever you decide to do about it, juudaime, we’re behind you,” Gokudera said, clenching his fist. Yamamoto nodded resolutely.

 

Mukuro didn’t just do the gag twice.

By the third day, they had to drag Chrome into it. They stood with her outside Bird-head and Hibari’s classroom at lunchtime, psyching her up to go inside.

“Are you ready?” Tsuna asked. Chrome nodded, eyes wide. “Okay. Let’s go.”

Gokudera threw open the door, and the four of them stepped into the classroom. Tsuna led the way, marching over to Bird-head and Hibari, who had turned their desks to face one another while they ate. Tsuna cleared his throat, and the two of them looked up at him.

“What do you weaklings want?” Hibari asked. Chrome stepped forward.

“Mukuro-sama… Whatever you’re doing, whether it’s a joke, or you’re planning something… Please stop! Everyone is… Everyone is…” She trailed off as Bird-head stood up from his desk, stepping up to face her. She looked hopeful.

Bird-head put his hands on Chrome’s shoulders, looking down at her seriously. Chrome smiled up at him. “Mukuro-sama… Does this mean-”

Bird-head brought his head down quickly, pecking the top of her head with his beak. “Oh!” Chrome cried, covering her head with her hands. It hadn’t hurt, but he’d startled her. Bird-head chirped once, then sat back down, pecking at his rice. Hibari stared at the group, unamused.

“Are you done? Can you go now?” he asked, voice flat.

“Not yet. We’ve still got one more trick up our sleeve-!” Gokudera rushed forward and wrapped his arms around Bird-head’s bird head, tugging hard. Bird-head pecked at his forearms  relentlessly. Hibari stood, his chair falling to the ground, and drew his tonfa to swing at Gokudera’s head- he ducked in the nick of time and ran as Hibari gave chase. The other three took off after them, leaving Bird-head to finish his lunch.

 

On May fifth, there was no school. The Vongola guardians met at Tsuna’s house to discuss something of grave importance.

“He’s  _ still  _ doing the gag,” Tsuna groaned, head in his hands. His guardians sat around the small table in front of him, each of them looking vaguely concerned. (Except for Lambo. Lambo was asleep on the bed. It was nap time.)

“He’s definitely planning _something,_ ” Gokudera hissed. He’d brought a chart. _Bird-head Sightings Since May First._ The chart was a straight line.

“Maybe he’s just having fun,” Yamamoto suggested. “Maybe it’s fun to be a bird. I wouldn’t mind trying it.”

“He’s not doing it for fun, idiot,” Gokudera snapped, waving his chart in Yamamoto’s face.

“I still don’t get it at all!” Ryohei cried. “Whose bird is it?”

Tsuna sighed, looking around at them. “Chrome,” he said, “do you have any ideas?”

Chrome shook her head. “I thought he might stop if I asked him to, but… I’ve only seen him do it more often since then.”

“Really?” Yamamoto asked. “Not just at school?”

“Yesterday, I saw Mukuro-sama and Hibari-san together in the park. They got ice cream… Mukuro-sama could hardly even eat his!” That part seemed to upset her the most. 

“We’ve been playing it too safe, up until now,” Gokudera said. “What we should do is attack him. If he won’t stop on his own, we’ll force him to stop.”

“That’s not a bad idea,” Tsuna mused. “We’ll attack him today.”

“If you’re all done,” Reborn said, turning around slowly in the hammock chair he’d hung from Tsuna’s ceiling. “Maybe you should stop to think about why Mukuro would target Hibari, of all people.”

“Because he’s a moron,” Gokudera answered. Reborn whipped out his gun. Gokudera put his hands up defensively, sweating.

“Wrong.”

“Then what is it?” Tsuna asked. 

“If you can’t figure it out, I won’t tell you,” Reborn said cheerfully. 

The five of them groaned. “So, I guess the assault plan is back on,” Tsuna sighed. “Let’s go find him.”

 

It didn’t take long to locate Mukuro and Hibari. They just followed the trail of bodies. As they neared the duo, the sounds of violence grew louder. The five of them peeked around the corner at the slaughter.

Hibari and Bird-head stood back to back in the center of the plaza, tonfa and trident out. They appeared to have started some kind of color gang turf war, probably for their own amusement, and now stood at the center of the brawl, beating up gangsters indiscriminately.

“It’s Hibari-san’s birthday, isn’t it?” Yamamoto whispered. “He always gets mad on his birthday.”

The rest of them groaned. How could they have forgotten that Children’s Day was Hibari’s birthday? Of course he got mad, there was no school that day. “Let’s go break this up,” Tsuna sighed, trudging forward into the plaza. His guardians followed, preparing their weapons.

“What are you herbivores doing here,” Hibari sneered when he finally caught sight of the group. “You know I hate crowding.”

“We’re here to put a stop to… all of this,” Tsuna said, waving his hand at the scene before them.

“You’d put a stop to my fun? Wao. What a killjoy,” Hibari said, turning away to bash some poor guy’s face in.

Seven teenage mafioso against a couple dozen low level gangsters… It really wasn’t a fair fight. Within minutes, they’d cleared the plaza, and the last of the gangsters were dragging themselves away from the violence, begging for their lives. They regrouped, Bird-head and Hibari on one side of the plaza, Tsuna and his guardians on the other.

“So? What do you want,” Hibari asked. “I’m very busy today.”

“I told you. We’re here to put a stop to this,” Tsuna said. “It has to end today.”

Hibari followed his gaze to Bird-head and scowled. “You just can’t leave him alone, can you. Tori,” he called to Bird-head, “let’s bite these ones to death too.”

Bird-head stepped forward, resummoning his trident. He warbled out something suspiciously similar to his signature laugh. Together, the two of them took offensive stances, ready to fight.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Tsuna sighed, adjusting his X-Gloves. “Let’s make this quick.”

His guardians had gotten stronger with time, Tsuna found. The four of them held their own against Hibari, keeping him occupied while Tsuna chased down and cornered Bird-head. Cutting through his illusions with the precision of a Boss, Tsuna aimed his X-burner at Bird-head and fired. Bird-head let out a worried little “cheep” before disappearing into the flame.

He quite literally disappeared. Nothing was left behind.

“Tori!” Hibari cried, swinging his tonfa into Ryohei’s face to get away from him. “What have you done?!”

“What had to be done, Hibari-san,” Tsuna sighed. “What had to be done.”

 

After that, Bird-head didn’t show up at school. Hibari was stricter and angrier than ever before, drawing his tonfa for every infraction of the school rules. He tried to fight Tsuna eight times that first week. Namimori-chuu was steadily becoming a bad place to go to school.

When that week was up, he seemed to sink into a depression.  The disciplinary committee made their rounds, but Hibari wasn’t present for them. He could be found only on the roof, staring off listlessly into the distance. Clouds covered the sky for days, but no rain fell.

By week three, the family had had enough.Violent Hibari was one thing to deal with. Mopey Hibari was something none of them wanted to touch.

“I hate to say it, but…” Tsuna sighed. “We need to go get Mukuro.”

 

Very, very occasionally, Hibari got love letters. They weren’t something he enjoyed receiving. It was annoying, being confronted by herbivores he had no interest in, having to take the time to turn them down and then listen to their endless crying. He’d tried to ban love letters from the school entirely, but found it nearly impossible to crack down on.

Regardless, one could imagine his surprise when he found a note in his shoe locker at the end of school one day. The letter was nondescript enough-  _ Please meet me at Namimori Shrine at six p.m. today-  _ but the signature got his attention.  _ Tori no Atame _ .

Bird-head!

He barely got his shoes on in his excitement; Hibari ran from the school, mounting his motorbike and revving the engine. It was 5:54 now- he didn’t have much time!

The ride to the shrine was a bit of a blur. He flew past stop signs, ignoring the drivers he cut off, and probably caused a few accidents. That didn’t matter. What mattered was reaching the shrine before six and seeing Bird-head again.

When was the last time he’d felt so excited?

Hibari ran up the steps to the shrine, stopping only once he reached the top. He looked around frantically, heart slowly sinking.

There was no one there.

What a bad joke.

He had turned to leave when he heard footsteps behind him- glancing over his shoulder, he caught sight of an olive green uniform over an earthy camouflage shirt. His instinctual feeling was one of rage at the sight of Rokudo Mukuro’s outfit of choice- but turning at the top of the stairs, he realized it was not Mukuro, but rather-

“Tori…”

It would have been fitting for a sea of cherry blossom petals to go flying past them in the wind. Unfortunately, these events took place in May. As it was, the dark green trees rustled in the breeze, as Bird-head stepped forward to greet him.

Hibari looked him up and down. “You transferred,” he surmised, a little sadly. Bird-head nodded. “I suppose I won’t see you again, then.”

Bird-head cocked his bird head to the side and flapped his wings, considering. “Kyouya,” he said, in a clear, familiar voice, “you see me all the time.”

The illusion slowly vanished, feathers flying up into the air. Hibari started at Bird-head as his head disappeared, uncovering a familiar mop of hair, an awful pair of eyes, and an all-too-friendly smile.

“ _ Rokudo Mukuro _ ,” he grated out, hands shaking. “You…”

“Did you really never figure it out?” Mukuro asked, grinning at him. “You  _ are  _ clueless.”

Hibari’s tonfa were out in an instant, and he drove one into Mukuro’s gut. Mukuro showed no sign of having noticed the attack. An illusion, probably. “Honestly, Kyouya, you’re being immature. I thought we were friends! You liked Tori!”

“Tori was-!” Well. There wasn’t much to say about Tori, now that Tori was Mukuro. All that time they had spent together- beating up herbivores, feeding each other lunch, walking home together- had that all really just been some kind of stupid joke? 

“Ah, you’re breaking out in hives…” Hibari scrubbed at his face with the sleeve of his uniform, glaring at Mukuro.

“You’re disgusting,” Hibari reminded him, turning to go. There was no point in fighting an illusory Mukuro.

“Kyouya, wait,” Mukuro said, grabbing his arm, turning him around. “I invited you here for a reason, didn’t I?” Hibari stared at him. There was no way-

“Kyouya… I’ve always, secretly… hated your guts. Kidding! Kidding! Stop biting me. Listen…” He sighed. “I know we’ve always been at odds. Always on opposite sides. I really admire your ability to hold a grudge.” He winked. Hibari gagged.

“But even when we’re fighting, I’m impressed by your resolve. Your cool anger. And your strength. I’ve always secretly liked you, Kyouya.”

To his credit, Hibari didn’t throw up, and his hives didn’t get any worse.

“Kyouya…”  _ Oh god, don’t say it. _ “Will you be my boyfriend-rival?”

Hibari drove his tonfa into Mukuro’s nose, and found that he actually stumbled back and bled. Either it was a really  _ good  _ illusion, or it was the real Mukuro. Mukuro laughed as he ran, summoning his trident.

“Is that a yes or a no?”

“It’s a no! Absolutely not!”

“It seems like a yes!”

_ Die, die, die! _

They fought for some time, until they were both bloody, sweaty, and panting. Mukuro straightened up, brushing some loose hair out of his face.

“Kyou-chan…”

“Don’t call me that.”

“But lovers should have nicknames for each other.”

“We are NOT-!”

“Let’s build a nest, darling.”

Later, a passerby would discover the total destruction of Namimori Shrine, the grounds smeared with blood. Hibari and Mukuro were nowhere to be found.

 

It wasn’t until Monday that Hibari resurfaced again at school, looking a little battered and bruised, but no worse for wear. He seemed to be back to normal, finally, reinforcing the rules and terrorizing Namimori in his usual way. Tsuna and his two closest friends congregated at the gate before school, relieved to see Hibari acting like himself again.

“I guess he just needed to see through the illusion for himself,” Tsuna said happily, walking onto the school grounds.

“Looks like they fought it out,” Gokudera agreed, smiling to himself.

Yamamoto was silent at first, watching Hibari as they neared him. “They must have finally made up,” he concluded, grinning and waving at Hibari. Hibari turned away without waving back.

“What are you talking about? “Made up”- tch. They’re mortal enemies,” Gokudera scoffed.

“Maa, look at his neck. Those are hickies.”

“Wha- Those are bruises, you moron!”

“I know hickies, and those are hickies,” Yamamoto said, breezing past them. He clapped Hibari on the shoulder as he passed him, causing the Cloud guardian to shiver and shove him off.

Gokudera and Tsuna stared after Yamamoto as he jogged up to the school. Then, their gaze slid over to Hibari, who had turned to look at them questioningly. The bruises on his neck stood out like magenta ink on his pale skin.

“Oh my god,” Tsuna whispered. Gokudera nearly crumpled to the ground. Hibari glared at them.

“Get to class, or I’ll bite you to death.”

“On our way!” Tsuna assured him, dragging Gokudera after him. Hibari stared after them as they entered the school, semi-consciously rubbing his neck.

He should’ve worn a scarf.


End file.
